The album starts off with a jaunty, poppy and folky Climate Emergency. Written and recorded whilst in lockdown, it is still current and valid, on topic for its release. The title of this new album, Cognitive Dissidents, displays Newtown Neurotics’ trademark thoughtful approach. The way Steve Drewett sang a tuneful uplift at the end of most lines and the realpolitik observations of gritty day-to-day life always made me think the Neurotics were what English folk would sound like if it was written by people who grew up in concrete jungles rather than twee villages. Then came the resounding Kick Out The Tories/Mindless Violence single. Strident, angry, political and intelligent raw punk rock with a touch of melody and plenty of oomph. Upon first hearing it sometime in the early ’80s, I was an instant fan. The Newtown Neurotics (affectionately shortened to The Neurotics by most) exploded onto the punk scene with the astounding 7-inch “Hypocrite” in 1979. Mermaid hair: innocuous mayhem for a pandemic Halloween–and one bright spot on the maelstrom of 2020.The new album from Harlow’s Newtown Neurotics has a less raw, more melodic sound but they are still angry and political, and sew the seeds of hope. But none with the mental reset and self-care quotient of mermaid hair extensions. Sure, I can think of 1,596 more fiscally-responsible initiatives. Heck, you could hit the polls and demonstrate even a person with mermaid hair extensions votes. Nothing will enrage mask evaders more than proving that even a person with mermaid hair extensions wears a mask. Nothing says I’ll not be deterred like mermaid hair. Why not buck your inner pragmatist and invest in mermaidry? The country is at a critical inflection point, the election is on Tuesday, but you, you have mermaid hair extensions in. Dress them up, dress them down, be a witch, be merfolk.Ģ020 has already turned all the rules we previously observed–going to work, wearing real pants–on their heads. With the right styling (which I didn’t do) mermaid extensions veer into spooky Sarah Sanderson-territory. It’s true: Mermaid extensions also double as witch hair. Design: Cierra Miller/STYLECASTER.īut when I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a store window, I realized that I kinda resembled Sarah Jessica Parker in Hocus Pocus. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale. Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Collectively, they turn you from a mere mortal into an ethereal sea creature, with an efficiency and conviction that might actually shock you. Each strip varies in width from one inch to five, and most people won’t need all seven at once. I decided to try Glam Seamless’ new Beach Wave Extensions, which include seven resplendent strips of perfectly-waved hair in various widths, that clip into your real hair at the root. Like any journalist of integrity, I typically sneer at blatant artifices, but quarantine has a way of softening your hard exterior and opening your mind to new (solitary, indoor) experiences. Despite my career as a beauty editor, I’ve never been interested in hair extensions before. You may be thinking, what in tarnation are mermaid hair extensions? I didn’t know either. Equivalent to those screensavers that show just a pair of legs (ostensibly yours) at the beach, mermaid extensions trick your mind. Feel like less of a functional person and more of a wet cat? Extension time. Have an important first date over FaceTime? Pop in your mermaid extensions. In these trying times, it makes sense to eschew a single-use costume in favor of fantabulous faux hair you can don again and again. This year, I’m advocating for not just a Halloween costume, but a mental vacation that you affix to your head. You can safely try mermaid hair extensions, and enjoy the altered frame of mind of one instantly transformed into their flirtiest maritime self. But what you can do, dear reader, is perhaps something that has never crossed your worried mind. Hit up a haunted pub and take shots of Witches Brew with moderately attractive strangers? Not recommended. Attend a standing-room-only party of friends who clearly outdid you with their costumes? Nope. There’s not much you can actually do for Halloween this year.
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